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Then: ‘Ben, buddy,’ he said, ‘I think a mistake was made here.’ He unpinned the gold star from Ben’s shirt. ‘I think this is who deserves the real best actor award.’ He carefully pinned it to Sarah’s top. ‘I figure she could’ve aced the scene in When Harry Met Sally… ‘ Sarah looked at him, her jaw trembling with tension. Her eyes glittered with unwept tears. ‘Let me give you some advice,’ Richard said, laying an arm across Ben’s shoulders. ‘Wool condoms. Otherwise it’s frostbite city.’ Sarah said, ‘Richard, you’re such a dick!’ and ran upstairs. Ben thought, I’ve always wanted to say that. ‘Richard, Richard, Richard,’ he said, and he lifted Richard’s arm from his shoulders as though it were a roadkill. Richard looked at him, waiting. ‘Or, more accurately, Dick, Dick, Dick.’ ‘You asshole.’ ‘I’m not the one who looks big, pink and wrinkled from here.’ Ben smiled lightly at Crista. ‘You haven’t slept together yet, have you?’ ‘That’s none of your business,’ Crista said. ‘I didn’t think. “Doubts about me? What do you mean, Sister?”“Last fall, you were supposed to go to the Catholic Youth Conference in Indianapolis. But you didn't go there, did you Father? I was here to help clean not long after you left. I found the printouts for your tickets in the trash. You were booked on a flight to Barbados.”Francis swallowed. His hands folded together and his eyes glared at her with equal parts anger and concern.“I really don't think that's any of your...”“I've seen the way you look at men in church” she interrupted.Jessica began taking off her veil. Her long, curly locks of dark brown hair were freed at last, tumbling down from the top of her head.“Young, well built men, especially.”“That's preposterous slander.”“Another time, when I was in your room, I found the catalog you hide under your mattress. You know the one. The men's fashion catalog with all the sticky pages?”“THAT'S ENOUGH!”“I bet if we went in there right now I'd find it. Or maybe you've found some new wank.
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